Scuba Diving and One Horse Towns (where the horse goes to bed at 7pm)

“We’re stuck in the middle of the f**king outback, the roads blocked by floods and I’m running out of petrol…” My Dad’s swearing and trying to work out which one of us is to blame. I go and take photographs of the magnificent floodwaters that rush by, blocking the road for the next thirty metres; (this pisses my Dad off even more). “For f**k sake, why is there no signal anywhere out here? Where’s the sodding map?!”

This does nothing for my new “Zen” outlook on life. I haven’t been on a family holiday for almost a decade. On one of the last holidays together we visited the Grand Canyon. My Dad and I had a blazing row because I just wanted to read and wouldn’t get out of the Camper Van to look at yet another canyon. “They all look the same”, I shouted at him, and I didn’t go on many family holidays after that. I also haven’t lived at home for almost four years and I forgot how heated the family arguments can get. But after three months of slow, ambling travel there is now just a hint of stress in the air.

Granted, I really can’t complain. My eating habits have shot from one meal a day (and the occasional stolen food) to three square meals plus “snot buckets”, that’s Vanilla Slices, and “Rat Coffins” (for my brother), that’s meat pies. These are shortened Ozzy names apparently, but I don’t see how? My “budget” (another thing I meant to work out before leaving England but didn’t get around to) has gone crazy since entering Australia, so it’s another relief to see my family for a couple of weeks. Australia is currently more expensive than home and I was not prepared for this! I still have six weeks of travelling through India to do yet! And of course it’s nice to see them. My mum came through security to meet me as I actually disembarked the plane (I didn’t even know you could do that without being shot). Also, to my delight, my Dad got pulled over by a flashing police car while driving our hire car (complete with reindeer antlers and red nose) to Agnes Water. He was breathalized and cautioned for speeding, (he never lets me forget my speeding points). When we eventually found Agnus Waters, after a two and a half hour detour to avoid the floods (Australia has very few roads), we arrived to an apartment on the sea front with a huge sitting room, balcony and two bathrooms (showers the size of my Cambodian friend’s homes). And it had A BATH! I had my first bath with a mug of tea and chocolate and then with a big glass of wine. For me this was a place to call home for a while, a place that I didn’t have to leave every day or keep my bag out of people’s way or creep around in or share a shower. It made every possible stress worthwhile.

The beach next to the apartment was long, sandy and pretty much deserted. The water was gloriously warm (surprising after the chill of the Sydney sea). The waves were high and proper, sucking you right into their curling arms, tumbling you underneath them and spiting you out like foamy gristle. I momentarily scared myself when I saw a triangle piece of dark wood bobbing towards me like a shark’s fin. Then I scared my brother to the point that he ran out of the sea like a frightened girl.

The Great Barrier Reef was an hour and a half boat ride out (Agnes Water is where the reef is closest to the main land). I did some snorkelling and an introductionary Scuba Dive, which was my second highlight after teaching in Cambodia. The reef life and the colourful fish were absolutely incredible. The coral is beautiful. After getting use to the breathing our dive instructor poured fish food in front of me and I was instantly swarmed by hundreds of flashes of colour as the fish darted in. Agnes Water only got electricity in 1987 so is a very new little town but rather cute with great sunsets on the rocks.

After Agnes Water we made our way driving down the coastline back in the direction of Sydney. We passed through some coastal and inland towns. Australia is very strange. It’s such a large country but has very few big cities, towns and main highways. Outside of the big places (such as Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, etc) are the small coastal resorts, mainly made up of sailors and surfers, and the inland towns. The inland towns (off the coastal tourist route) are small one-horse towns, much like small American towns. I find it just as hard to believe that people live like this as they do in Cambodian shacks. And this is the East Coast which is “very populated” in Australian terms. One road, a few shops selling riders hats and boots and a “bar” room (which does food through a hatch) and that’s the town. I feel like I’m on a western film set and Clint Eastwood is about to clip his boots round the one corner and shoot at me.

Here are a few words on some places of interest that we passed through:

Noosa: VERY nice houses, it is where Nicole Kidman lives apparently. The main street is full of boutique shops and over-priced coffee. There is a more earthy side at Noosa Junction where we had lunch (it’s much cheaper too).

Lismore: A strange town. I’ve not much to add except it had a pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree (a normal tree with a few pieces of tinsel thrown on it) and a Koala Sanctuary, which cared for sick and injured Koalas. A volunteer told us all about Koalas and then showed us the ones they were caring for, a blind one with a baby and another female Koala. The baby was so cute. It was amazing to see them so close. I’ve also seen two Koalas in the wild now. (I have also seen one snake and one live kangaroo, and ten dead ones on the side of the road – they get run over A LOT).

Coolangatta: Disgusting high rise buildings, hated it – but that was because it rained and the dodgy Motel gave me bed bugs all over my arms and back, (again after Thailand I was the only one to get bitten, NOT happy). You could see the Brisbane skyline from the beach but then again; the Brisbane skyline is pretty ugly.

Croffs Harbour: Best beach, long and deserted. I walked along the beach as the sunset and a huge full moon came up. It was absolutely stunning.

Nimbin: Some uneven roads and dirt tracks took us to Nimbin. A “town” with a population of 400 hundred, it originates from the Aquarius festival in 1973 when people simply decided to stay on after the festival had finished. It’s like the Hippy part of Glastonbury on steroids. It has an amazingly odd museum and a few “new age” shops and cafes. The guidebook assured us we would be accosted by weed sellers with “dreaded hair and tie die t-shirts” but I was disappointed to find these guys looking exactly as they do in London. Still, this did happen approximately seven seconds after we had parked the car and there is something funny about people trying to sell to your Mum.

Dorrigo: As you drive into Dorrigo you pass a sign telling you the population there is 1192. Do they have to change the sign for every birth and death? Do people never move out or in of Dorrgio? Apparently not. In one of the shop windows there is also a “Santa List” of the naughty and nice children that year. It’s definitely aforementioned “one horse town” but by the time we showed up for dinner at 7pm the horse had long gone to bed. The only shop showing life was a Vodka distillery with a man making huge vats of potato and lime vodka. How can people live here? In this sleepy town where people live and die and drink potato vodka.

Christmas in Australia is LAME. There are hardly any decorations or signs of Christmas and every time I catch the odd Christmas advert on the television or radio it just makes me feel really weird. So I have totally missed Christmas this year. Maybe Australia doesn’t need Christmas as much as England does. We are about to enter “The Outback” where I will spend my Christmas on an Australian cattle ranch with no phone signal or Internet. It will defiantly be another “experience”. I’ll write about that and add the rest of my Australia photos before I fly to India on New Years Eve. Sending lots of Christmas love to everyone. X